It's Friday.
Your coworkers think you're wrapping up important tasks with that intense look of concentration, but we both know you're deep in a Dude Stuff rabbit hole.

🗓️ Today In History

May 2, 2008: The Big Bang of Superhero Cinema

On this day Iron Man blasted into theaters, triggering what physicists might technically classify as a "complete paradigm shift" in the entertainment cosmos. What looked like just another superhero flick secretly contained cinema's big bang moment—that post-credits Nick Fury scene essentially announcing, "We're building a narrative universe that will consume your weekends for the next decade." Fifteen years and 30+ interconnected films later, Marvel has transmuted from a struggling comic book company into a box office particle accelerator, smashing through financial records to generate a mind-boggling $29 billion in revenue, roughly the GDP of a small European nation. Not bad for a cinematic experiment that began with a formerly uninsurable actor playing a billionaire who built a fancy suit in a cave with a box of scraps.

❓ Trivia

America's Most Ridiculously Enduring Sports Tradition

Before Tom Brady was a twinkle in his grandfather's eye, before Michael Jordan dunked from the free-throw line, even before baseball players had the revolutionary idea to wear gloves, there was the Kentucky Derby, America's most stubborn sporting tradition.

This equine extravaganza has been running continuously since 1875, outlasting two World Wars, the Great Depression, Prohibition (though the mint juleps went underground), disco, and even America's brief, traumatic affair with cargo pants. When the aliens eventually arrive and ask what humans have been consistent about, we can proudly point to our uninterrupted commitment to watching very small men ride very expensive horses very quickly while wearing very large hats.

How This Beautiful Mess Began

The Kentucky Derby exists because a guy named Meriwether Lewis Clark Jr. (yes, that Lewis and Clark. Nepotism has always been a thing) took a European vacation in the 1870s, saw fancy horse races in England and France, and thought: "That, but make it Kentucky."

Clark returned home determined to class up American horse racing, which at the time was about as refined as a monster truck rally (no offense—Grave Digger forever). He borrowed land from his uncles, John and Henry Churchill, built a track, and named it Churchill Downs. Nothing to do with Winston. I know… shocking.

From Horse Race to National Obsession

What started as a simple race has morphed into an excuse for otherwise reasonable adults to:

• Get hammered before noon

• Drop a mortgage payment on a sweet-ass outfit and hat

• Pretend picking the horse with the coolest name counts as analytics

The Derby's transformation into a cultural phenomenon came with some iconic traditions:

The Science of Speed

The Derby is run at 1¼ miles (or "ten furlongs" if you want to sound insufferable). The race typically lasts about two minutes, officially making it "The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports" and also "The Only Sporting Event Where You Might Miss the Entire Thing While in the Bathroom."

The thoroughbreds reach speeds of 37–40 mph. These aren’t just animals — they’re 1,200-pound muscle missiles with legs like pistons and lungs the size of shop vacs. During the race, their hearts pump 75 gallons of blood per minute — roughly the output of a garden hose. For comparison, a human heart manages about 1.3 gallons at rest and maybe 5 gallons during all-out effort. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we’d be absolutely screwed if horses were carnivores.

Derby By The Numbers (For Nerds Who Like Data)

• 149: Years of uninterrupted Derby madness (except that COVID blip we don't talk about)

• 3: Number of fillies that have taken home the roses. So yeah, sexism gallops too.

• $3 million+: Current purse, or as horse people call it, "hay money"

• $1.86 million: Winner's share, most of which the horse never sees

• 150,000+: Fans who crowd into Churchill Downs, most of whom will see exactly zero horses

• $18.9 million: Record betting handle on a single Derby (2019)

• 155 lbs: Weight each horse carries, including jockey and equipment, which is like asking you to run a marathon while carrying a middle schooler

Why We Can't Quit It

The Kentucky Derby survives because it's the perfect blend of sports, spectacle, and socially acceptable day drinking. It's where old money and new money collide, where fashion meets farming, and where for two glorious minutes, an entire nation pretends to care deeply about horse racing.

So this Saturday, grab your most architecturally ambitious hat, mix a drink that's mostly bourbon with plants floating in it, and prepare to scream excitedly about animals with names like "Flying Mohawk" and "Render Judgment" Because 149 years in, the Kentucky Derby isn't just a horse race—it's America's most enduring excuse to party like it's 1875.

And if someone asks why you care so much about horses suddenly, just mumble something about "bloodlines" and "pace advantage" while staring knowingly at your betting slip. That's what the rest of us are doing.

🍹 Make Your Own Mint Julep

The mint julep is bourbon, sugar, and a slap of mint to the face. It’s easy to make, keeps in the fridge, and makes you feel like you know what you’re doing.

See the full recipe here.