From Prison Slop to Fine Dining

Author

Evan Ochs
April 04, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes

Happy Friday, dudes.

🗓️ Today In History

On this day in 1975, Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft. Gates was 19, fresh from telling Harvard "it's not you, it's me" and betting big on the idea that personal computers might actually matter. Nearly fifty years later, Microsoft is worth more than the entire annual economy of almost every country on Earth, with only seven exceptions.

Food Stuff

🦞 From Prison Slop to Fine Dining

Did you know lobster used to be considered garbage food?

Not “kind of gross, but I’ll still eat it” garbage. Actual bottom-of-the-barrel, feed-it-to-prisoners garbage.

Let’s set the scene. You’re a colonial prison warden. Some poor guy asks what’s for dinner. You point to a wriggling pile of red sea bugs and say, “This again.” That’s lobster.

Back then, lobsters were everywhere. They’d wash up on beaches in knee-high piles, get tangled in fishing nets, basically marina cockroaches. They were cheap. They were ugly. And they were the protein equivalent of a punishment.

So naturally, they became prison food. Also the default meal for slaves, servants, and anyone else who couldn’t say no. In Massachusetts, workers were so tired of lobster that they made bosses agree not to serve it more than three times a week. Imagine needing a contract to protect you from shellfish (looking at you, Jayce).

And it wasn’t just America. In Australia, British convicts were getting served lobster regularly too. Not because anyone thought they deserved a nice meal. It was just the only thing around that no one else wanted. You stole a loaf of bread? Here’s a sea insect. Bon appétit.

Crabs didn’t fare much better. Too spidery. Too fiddly. Not enough meat. They were considered more hassle than hunger relief. Basically, if it walked sideways, it was a culinary red flag.

So what changed?

Two things: trains and cans.

In the mid-1800s, food manufacturers realized that lobster could be canned, packed in brine, and shipped inland. And when it hit landlocked towns like Des Moines or Akron — places where seafood meant “whatever you caught in the creek” — lobster wasn’t gross, it was exotic. It didn’t matter that coastal folks were still feeding it to cats. In the middle of the country, it came in a fancy tin and smelled like the ocean. That was enough.

Then came the railroads. Suddenly, you could ship live lobsters on ice to high-end restaurants in Boston, New York, and Chicago. Chefs dressed it up, paired it with wine, and gave it the “fine dining” treatment. By the early 1900s, lobster was on the upswing.

It didn’t hurt that wealthy folks started vacationing on the coasts. They ate lobster fresh, dipped in butter, served with champagne, and brought the taste home as a status symbol. Like wearing a souvenir, but edible.

After World War II, lobster went full luxury. Soldiers returning from overseas had extra money and wanted to treat themselves. Restaurants leaned in. Tourism boomed. And suddenly, the sea bug had a seat at the white-tablecloth table.

Now? A single crab cake runs you on average $25. A lobster roll costs more than your childhood bike. And all because people in Kansas once thought it tasted like the Atlantic.

Proof that with enough marketing and melted butter, even a cockroach of the sea can end up on a silver platter.

Thanks for the rec, Ben.

💡 Fun Fact

The chainsaw was originally invented in the 18th century to help with childbirth — specifically, to cut through pelvic bone during difficult deliveries. It was a small, hand-cranked tool used in a procedure called symphysiotomy, which sounds horrifying because it absolutely was.

Thanks for the info, Steve.

Current Events

🏴‍☠️ Buried Treasure Found by a Guy Named Ron

After six years of swinging a metal detector through the same farmer’s field in England, 76-year-old Ron Walters finally hit the jackpot. The retired welder was about to skip his usual search, but his wife told him to “bugger off and get out of the house for a bit.” Good call.

That afternoon, he dug up something wild — a gold Roman coin from the year 69 AD. It shows Emperor Vitellius, who was in power for only eight months before getting taken out by the next guy. Historians believe it’s the first coin of its kind ever found in Britain.

Ron kept it quiet, strolled home like it was just another day, and later sold the coin at auction for around $6,000 — which he split with the landowner, as detectorist code demands. Not bad for a guy who just wanted some peace and quiet in a muddy field.

 

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🥣 Stuff to Check Out

🎶 Song: The Format - AZ

📕 Book: American Kingpin

📸 Photo of The Week

The eye of a female Humpback Whale - Rachel Moore

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Thanks for reading.

Best,
Evan

P.S. I’m testing out a new format for Dude Stuff—figured it was time to trim the fat. Let me know what you think.

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